~Chelsea

~Chelsea

Currently, I am thinking about growing my own food. The fact that you can do that is amazing, and I would feel so good about eating healthy, and saving money, and maybe even making money, depending on how much food I grow. It sucks that we are renting so we can’t have a garden in the ground, but we have a deck and a porch where I can keep plenty of pots. Right now I am attempting to grow an avocado tree using the pit/seed from an avocado. It takes a while, but I really hope it works, even if it doesn’t produce fruit. Also, last night my sister and I picked wild onion grass from our front yard, which we are going to cook into tonight’s dinner.

I am really excited to get started. I am so low on money that it is ridiculous. I really need to start working so I can make money. However, I think I will be able to manage buying a few plants and pots and stuff. So yeah, that’s what I’ve been thinking about. I also am going to try to clean my house and room more, and I want to start writing my book more. It’s strange how I actually have been thinking about the story, and I want to write it, but I just run out of time in the day. Also, not that this has to do with anything, but last night’s Walking Dead really got me thinking.

As I mentioned in my last post, As You Are #1 is done! First, I would like to say that if you don’t know what a zine is, it’s basically a self-published magazine that anyone can make about anything.

As You Are is the first zine I’ve done since 2010, which is crazy. I basically went an entire year without publishing a zine. I did actually work on a few throughout 2011, but I kept disliking the content and ended up never finishing them. THis zine however, I am very happy about, and I really feel like it’s something I need to do. Rather than just talking about my life, I am also incorporating (hopefully) inspirational and motivating pieces. I have learned a lot this past year, and I really want to share it with others. I literally can never think the same way again. I will never be able to get to the point of being so unhappy that I want to die. I know better now, and I really want to try to help others who are going through similar things that I did. Along with my last post, I have been thinking about making it a blog and podcast, but I’m still unsure. On one hand I want it to be something bigger than just a zine and I want people to get involved. But on the other hand, I want to be humble about it, and just keep it as my zine. Anyway, here is the little description for As You Are #1:

Part perzine, mostly inspirational zine, As You Are is my attempt to spread even just a seed of happiness to the world. Through it, I hope to help motivate, and remind people that they are not alone. Everything I write comes from experience, and what I have learned so far in my life.

Issue one contains some writing about happiness, waiting for the future, and how amazing we are. Also a few (probably lame) poems, and a fictional story I wrote. Some of my art is scattered throughout, as well as a contribution from my awesome cousin! There is also a list, a bit about my life up until this point, book and movie recommendations, and a challenge for you!

This zine is 1/2 page size, and 20 pages long. It is in black and white with a color cover.

So yes, you can buy it here, or feel free to ask me about trades. I’m on We Make Zines as well. That is about it. Have a lovely day!

~Chelsea

I have to say, the idea of having a website dedicated to AYA is very intimidating. Beside having to keep it updated and whatnot, I feel like once it is a website, I will have to expand the message. And I want to, of course. However, it is a big responsibility to lead a…movement? I am still very new to all the things I want to write about and share with people, but that doesn’t make me want to not share it. I don’t really care about the popularity  (or non-popularity) aspect of it. I don’t even so much care about making a name for AYA. I just want to spread the message of it. I want to change people’s lives. I want to help people.

The podcast thing sounds like a good idea as well. As opposed to a zine, a podcast can reach so many more people. It would be free, and it would be for everyone, not just zine people. However, the idea of having a podcast is also very daunting. It feels more real, because it would be my actual voice and thoughts and writing, directly out into the world. Then there’s the work part to it. Is my built-in mic good enough? Or should I invest in a real mic? How important is this to get done and put time and money into? It’s not even a matter of, will people read it? For me, it’s more of, am I saying what I’m trying to say in a way people will understand and agree with?

Maybe having a podcast is a long shot. I’m not very internet famous, so who’s to say it would even reach anyone. And who’s to say I am worthy of preaching such things. I just have a good feeling about all of this. As You Are is something more than just me. It’s bigger than what I have to say, or how I say it. It’s bigger than any words or art or notions. It’s a spark to start the fire in people’s lives. It’s a seed to grow a new way of living. It’s bigger than any zine, podcast or website. It’s an attempt to help people reach their true selves. It’s peace.

I decided to start watching entire series of shows on Netflix since the only show I actually remember to watch every week is The Walking Dead, and because it would be cool to watch old shows that people obsess about. So I’m making a list of shows, and I’m gonna start watching them!

• Lost (I started this one today!)
• Skins (UK, duh) (I already started this one. I’m on season two, but I kind of have to be in the mood to watch it.)
• Battlestar Galactica
• Breaking Bad
• The Office
• Star Trek (all of them- assuming I like it)
• The Twilight Zone (started this one a while back.)
• Doctor Who
• Sons of Anarchy
• Parks and Recreation (don’t even know what it’s about)
• 30 Rock (nor this one)
• United States of Tara (started it)

That’s all I got so far, and I don’t even know if and when I’ll actually watch them. Let me know if any of them are crap. Any other one’s I missed or that you recommend!?!?

Maybe I’ll post more later about my progress with some of these shows. Right now I think I’m going to dive into Lost, but I might start some others. Some I feel are more involved and drama-filled than others. Maybe I’ll watch some of the lighter ones in between the bigger ones (if that makes any sense).

But anyway, I am really excited about my zine, and I think I finally have everything for it. I really want to put the majority of it together today! I love zines so much. I’m thinking about if I should do zine reviews…I don’t know. I just really want to make crafts to sell, and work on my zine! I also need to get back to my novel that I haven’t worked on since November. I’m very neglectful.

Anyway, what type of crafts/things would you be interested in buying that I could make? I’m just wondering. Any ideas would be nice. Thanks, and enjoy the Super Bowl!

~Chelsea

Also, if you have any requests of something similar that is in my shop now, or that has sold, or that you just think I could make, please feel free to send me a message on Etsy!

~Chelsea

However, I really have been inspired to make a zine again! I think I went an entire year without making or trading any zines. I want to make something inspirational, and motivating, and that will inspire people to be themselves. The only problem is that I don’t know where to start or what to put in it. I’ve tried writing something, but it’s not any good. I want to include some poems, but mostly I want to fill it with inspirational writing. I’m just so stuck! Also, I don’t even know if there is ink in my scanner! Anyway, yeah, I am going to make a zine, that I will post on my etsy when it’s done. I also want to put some of the friendship bracelets I’ve made on etsy. I need to make some money, and I would really love to be able to sell what I make.

I have also been thinking about making an online doll magazine. My cousin and I are planning to do an online magazine, but meanwhile, I think it would be fun to make one about American Girl Dolls (and possibly other dolls). Also, in case you didn’t know, which if you are reading this you probably didn’t, I collect various types of dolls, the major one being American Girl Dolls. I also have a youtube channel dedicated to them. So I really want to get submissions for that, and start putting it together.

Also, I can’t decide if I should rename my etsy shop. Right now it is called Kawaii Cupcakes, which I like. However, it isn’t very kawaii, nor cupcake..y. I don’t know what I should rename it if I do. Let me know what you think about the name.

Mostly, I just want to be able to focus a bit more and spend less time on the internet. Sorry that this post is all over the place, I just wanted to get out how I am feeling and what I’ve been up to.

I shiver through each hour,

With fingers made of ice,

In the shell of this house,

Walls and windows won’t suffice.

I crawl from room to room,

Skin raw and exposed,

Holding together my own hands,

Of which sit starkly juxtaposed.

I emerge from my nest,

My body burns against cold,

Then return to the heat,

I wish I only could hold.